Over eighteen years ago I made the decision to enter into the nursing profession; I wanted to save the world, one person at a time. For many years that's just how it was with the occasional day feeling like I accomplished nothing.

     The last 4 years has had more of nothing with a little saving sprinkled here and there. I've gone back to school from time to time, (all nursing related) in hopes of changing the sprinkle back to a roar, but with no success. I totally love the days when a patient gets well goes home, the days when I get that little old lady who just cannot show you enough gratitude for simply placing a warm blanket around her shoulders or the days it's crazy but I'm working with a great team who helps everyone out and has fun doing it.

     As I've gotten older I'm not sure if I have just lost the ability to ignore the crap that people dish at me or if there simply is just so much dung flinging, I can no longer breathe from the stench. All I know is this...I need a new dream...one that will bring a blessing to lives of others...breaks into song...

To dream the impossible dream, 

To fight the unbeatable foe, 

To bear with unbearable sorrow 

To run where the brave dare not go; 

To right the unrightable wrong. 

To love, pure and chaste, from afar, 

To try, when your arms are too weary, 

To reach the unreachable star! 

This is my Quest to follow that star, 

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far, 

To fight for the right 

Without question or pause, 

To be willing to march into hell 

For a heavenly cause! 

And I know, if I'll only be true 

To this glorious Quest, 

That my heart will lie peaceful and calm 

When I'm laid to my rest. 

And the world will be better for this, 

That one man, scorned and covered with scars, 

Still strove, with his last ounce of courage, 

To reach the unreachable stars!

The Impossible Dream"

from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972)

Can just about anyone write a book, I wonder? I suppose so, but can anyone write a good book, one that others will actually read and enjoy, one that can touch the heart of others across the spectrum of generations? I wonder if I can? I am in a career that I desperately want to walk away from; the politics have dragged me down so far that I feel as though I can no longer be effective in my role and I have lost my passion for what I do. I can still do my job well, mind you, pushing my emotions aside and focus on the task at hand, helping others to get well again and enjoy life to their fullest. Finding another career that pays just as well, that I will enjoy and be a benefit to others is difficult as all areas that I have been looking at require me to leave my current home and venture out into new dimensions. Single, this would be easy and an exciting adventure, but I am married now with a beautiful child, roots have been sent down deep into the ground and the ground here is nuritiousing with many fruitful trees supporting one

another. To leave would be difficult and heart wrenching. So my husband reminds me of my book, the one I started but did not get too far...only a few pages. He tells me that I should look to that maybe, that we live where many any author would love to be to allow for the creative juices to flow without distraction. So I will use this blog which has taken on so many differing personas, to now journal my progress. If anyone reads this, please feel free to ask how things are going, write your comments, suggestions, tell me of your writing experiences. Perhaps all this will inspire my thoughts to scream loud enough that they pop up in print. 

A book! A book! What is in a book?! Words, pictures, stories, facts, fantasy, love, drama, adventure...all of the above! Where to begin, where to end, where to middle? Exercise! Exercise! How to, I say? What say you? At the beginning...

Whoa! I've had google ads on my blog and just thought i'd logon for no apparent reason; what a mess, yack! so no more ads! Woot! anyways, check out this article for all you mom's. Telling Daughters I'm Beautiful

Cheers!

Life is good and I am so dang pretty!
Been a long time since I posted so quick update...
Husband is doing well and back to working for over 3 months now; was laid off for over a year and back and forth to hospital for over half of that time. It's february now so lots of important dates. A birthday or two and an anniversary. Still haven't forgotten about the book, always in the back of my mind.

Well, it's been awhile. We've been enjoying good health all around here in the Mak household for 5 weeks straight! our recored has been 2 months. Paul will be starting a new drug shortly called Humera (very expensive) and we are thankful that his drug plan will cover 100% of the cost! Praise Jesus!
Now I had said before about writing a book and that still there in the back of my mind, just haven't been doing any writing yet. However, i did decide that i would chose biblical names for all my characters and found this great website for biblical names and they're meaning, but now i can't find it; should have linked it, lol. oh well will find it later.

Sickness

So hubby is still in the hospital but they let him come home last night for a couple of hours since it was our daughter's 1st birthday; can't believe that she is already 12 months old! On top of all this I was up with Alyssa at 4am with her coughing up a storm. She's all congested, but still in good spirits. Lol, she was just playing with the aspirator and sucking on it. Those aspirators aren't really good unless the mucus is watery. Oh well, makes for a good chew toy for her, just got to watch her with it so the end doesn't pop out and she chokes on it. Forget it, not taking that risk so I've taken out the end so i don't have to worry about her choking on it.

I'm suppose work again tomorrow, my second day back, but with hubby not home and baby not well, i'm gonna stay home. It sucks to leave the unit possibly short, but I wouldn't be much good if I left Alyssa with friends for the day; i'd constantly be worrying about her. I can see why people get a nanny; there's consistancy of care and the child stays home and doesn't have they're routine messed up too much and then mommy can get a break on her days off work.

Baby is napping now so I'm gonna go and try to unstick the Not-So-Smart, Smart Car out of the driveway.